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Halo Repair

'T.M.I.F.'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

Local News in Heaven

I know time is an earthly construct, but I still feel sleepy in the afternoons.

An amplified harp

"It's your final warning...Quit playing the 'Beverly Hillbillies' theme song"

'I didn't expect to have remote controls here.'

Damn defibrillators.

'Would you mind not drinking from the holy water?'

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

"Whoa - You're gonna need a whole new string!"

"This is neither Heaven nor Hell. It's the private sector."

'I would have been here sooner, if not for a wonderful, caring, competent doctor.'

'How nice! -- They're making a ten-part miniseries about the Bible!'

'May I have a glass of Perrier with a twist of lemon and a straw?'

"So much for eternal rest."

"But you're paper trained and we don't have any newspapers or newspaper people."

"Say what you like about Hell, at least they have solid floors."

'I'm sorry, this is the line for people who volunteered to help their community. You're looking for the eternal damnation department.'

Keyboard in Heaven

Late Night TV

"But don't bother making up a schedule for all those projects. I've got all the time in the world now."

"The only problem with Heaven is there's nowhere to hang stuff."

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.

Heavenly Take Out

'Let's see...yes, there is a wing upgrade for a soul patch.'

'But how did you lose your harp?'

"Man, what I wouldn't do for some Chinese take-out."

"Why corona? I thought they were getting a bit too cocky."

Penguin emerges from freezer. Man says: 'This freezer needs defrosting.'

'Gee, I never expected to find this problem here too!'

"Yup. This is heaven. Free beer and unlimited peanuts."

"Oh, come on, you must want to be remembered for something!"