Ancient Wonderer T-Shirts

Archeologists found a set of 9.7-million-year-old teeth in Germany that might belong to a primitive relative of early man. Totally unrelated question: Are you missing any teeth, Sadie. That's funny. Speaking of which, there are many ways a person could lose teeth. Threats of violence aren't funny in 2018. That's like a rule. A good pummeling never hurt anyone.

'Of course, it's still a complete mystery as to how the ancients even managed to move these massive stones...'

'But what is the universe for?'

"Something goes around something, but that's as far as I've got."

'I wish I was creative'

Goddess

Sphinx with nursing Sphinx pups

"Hey! I can see the Empire State Building!"

'God?' Earth receives its first transmission from space.

"Who. Who. Who. Or is it Whom?"

"Well. . . either it's sinking, or you got the measurements wrong. . .!"

"Dad, tell us a scary meteorite story."

'It's just a calendar, who cares what it looks like?'

"Thousands of years from now, men will marvel at this and wonder how we did it."

God's studio assistants

"They ruin the landscape!"

Sand Pyramids

"But you're paper trained and we don't have any newspapers or newspaper people."

'Tut, you've outdone yourself this time.'

Spudhenge

'Helen went on Facebook and launched a thousand ships.'

'It was built by the ancients as a calendar. We know because each pillar has a kitten doing something really cute carved on it!'

'I've always found the stars disappointingly small.'

'Untitled #82? You mean there are 81 more like this. Was he trying to get it just right?'

'We've laid it out so that twice a year the sun's rays will penetrate all the way back to the throne and smack him right between the eyes.'

'Are they called 'pyramids' because the Pharaoh used a pyramid scheme to finance them?'

'What planning permission?' ( STONEHENGE )

"I wonder if there's life as we know it on other planets."

FAQs. Why is the sky blue? Why do I have to eat my peas? But why? Pt.1. But why? Pt. 2.

The Greatest Show Unearthed.

"As we zoom out, out, out, we begin to see our amazing universe in all its dangerous glory."

"I've absorbed all matter within my gravitational pull. I should be happy..."

Diogenes and the Greek Crisis

"Oh no, not another one!"

'No, I've got the same time as you. This thing must be running slow.'