Ancient Wonder Wanderer T-Shirts

"Everyone kept telling me 'Oh, these statues will blow you away.' That's ridiculous. They look stupid, vacant, dull, empty-headed, dopey, ignorant..."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"I'd like to book 10 days going anywhere they've never heard of Brexit."

Through the Looking Glass - Queen Alice with Frog

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'

Higher wisdom...

Saguaro Cactus Regrets.

'It says, 'Life is like a transistor.''

Goddess

"No, I want to know the meaning of never calling your mother."

'What I've learnt sitting on this mountain, alone for ten years, is how boring sitting alone on a mountain for ten years is!'

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

Sphinx with nursing Sphinx pups

"Well. . . either it's sinking, or you got the measurements wrong. . .!"

Don't worry, if things don't work out in America we can always take the Bering Land Bridge back to Asia.

'The Karma of the marketplace is about to overwhelm the Dogma of policy making,'

OM, SWEET OM

Lost and Profound.

'Birthdays are like life...the more you have, the more illuminated you become.'

"I temper Taoism with psychology -- I'm into Yin-Yang-Jung."

"Thousands of years from now, men will marvel at this and wonder how we did it."

'It's just a calendar, who cares what it looks like?'

I'm a little disappointed -- I always thought the ultimate secret to the universe would rhyme.

'Oh wise one - what is the secret to long life?'

"You might have time left for one more book, but only if it doesn't require and lot of research."

The Mad Hatter finally gets taken down.

On Holiday

"You should do something brilliant, before it's too late."

You are everywhere.

'There's no charge for the advice and wisdom, but I would eventually like those jumper cables returned!'