Ancient Warfare Gifts

"Shoo!"

A soldier escaping over a rope bridge

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Archimedes statue with a lever

"There's only one 'L' in colosseum."

'This has all the makings of a fable. But first lets take lots of tests.'

Long before the GPS, traveling humans found their way around by using an Atlas.

Playdough's The Republic

"Wheel, schmeel—check these babies out!"

'Shoot, this is nothing, you should have seen how good we had it back in ancient Egypt.'

The Trojan Beagle.

'The dreaded Anachronisaurus strikes again!'

Neptune

"He conquered the known world - now all he's got is sudoku."

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

"I think someone's trying to play games with us."

Trojan Hurdler.

"I miss the Augean stables."

The Fall of Gnome

'Hello Colin, I'm Arthur, any idea what all the fuss is about?'

'Caesar salad?'

Maybe the gods aren't angry. Maybe the gods are just yanking our chain.

Egyptian Football

"Oooh. . . I've got sand under my wrappings and it's so itchy. . !!"

'Look! There's a Zyzzkzkk!'

43AD: Romans invade Britain.

"...and if you add wind-chill factor, the next plague will be even worse!"

'I'll let your people go when they're fully pyramid-compliant!'

A military officer sits at his desk with desk trays marked 'Search' and 'Destroy.'

"Professor, this changes everything."

'Why is it always me that has to put the cat out?'

The discoverer of fire meets the discoverer of marijuana

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

Odysseus starts regretting his return to Ithaca.