Ancient Warfare Aficionado Gifts

Trojan Horse.

Dear Greeks - Our sincere thanks for the giant wooden horse! What a wonderful surprise when we...

'You know, I'm about to stop caring whether they're here legally or not!'

A soldier escaping over a rope bridge

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

"Have you been playing dice?"

'The dreaded Anachronisaurus strikes again!'

"I think someone's trying to play games with us."

Those Were The Days

Epic Battles

Sphinx Comes Alive

Romans.

"It's called 'Pizza maker scratching his knee.'"

'Anti-Graffito' worker about to erase hieroglyphics.

"No flash in the ancient mummy gallery."

"Don't forget the screenplay."

"It's a long-term strategy to make them lazy and complacent first."

'Barbarians at the gate? That's fine, I fully support social mobility.'

"The British are coming. Just sayin'."

'This stuff is a snap for me. I used to be a pharmacist.'

Adam and Eve - Food scares

Anubis loved his evening rides.

"What do you suppose Ken Burns will have to say about all this in 30 years?"

"Greece! Greece! Greece! Every day it's the same! Just the constant Greece!"

"It's five post meridiem in Central Europe. Compliled form the major networks the news is next."

"Just a routine ID check, Mr. Spartacus - there are lots of people with the same name, you know."

Napoleon marches off alone

"You guys need to #@%!% fight harder. You're all #@%!% wimps! You call yourselves a #@%!% army? Bull%#!*!"

410 BC: The Roman empire begins its slide into decadence.

"Surely, as the world's only superpower, we're entitled to a little mischief now and then."

"Aha! - Proof that this is definitely an iron-age site..."

Early detection was rarely helpful.

'That's a bad omen no sooner does he invent the wheel than he has the first ever road traffic accident.'

"The horse is nice, but we could really use the blender."