Ancient Warfare Aficionado Gifts

Trojan Horse.

'You know, I'm about to stop caring whether they're here legally or not!'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

"Have you been playing dice?"

'The dreaded Anachronisaurus strikes again!'

Those Were The Days

Epic Battles

Sphinx Comes Alive

Romans.

"It's called 'Pizza maker scratching his knee.'"

"No flash in the ancient mummy gallery."

"Don't forget the screenplay."

"It's a long-term strategy to make them lazy and complacent first."

'Anti-Graffito' worker about to erase hieroglyphics.

"The British are coming. Just sayin'."

'Barbarians at the gate? That's fine, I fully support social mobility.'

'This stuff is a snap for me. I used to be a pharmacist.'

"What do you suppose Ken Burns will have to say about all this in 30 years?"

Anubis loved his evening rides.

Adam and Eve - Food scares

"Just a routine ID check, Mr. Spartacus - there are lots of people with the same name, you know."

Napoleon marches off alone

"It's five post meridiem in Central Europe. Compliled form the major networks the news is next."

"You guys need to #@%!% fight harder. You're all #@%!% wimps! You call yourselves a #@%!% army? Bull%#!*!"

"Greece! Greece! Greece! Every day it's the same! Just the constant Greece!"

"Aha! - Proof that this is definitely an iron-age site..."

"Surely, as the world's only superpower, we're entitled to a little mischief now and then."

Early detection was rarely helpful.

'Behold! The curse of the pharaoh!'

"The horse is nice, but we could really use the blender."

'That's a bad omen no sooner does he invent the wheel than he has the first ever road traffic accident.'

"The Chilcot inquiry? No, this is the inquiry into what happened to the Chilcot inquiry."

'Hector owes us money ...'