Ancient Warrior Gifts

I'm tired of working, Randy. One of my ancestors put it best. It was the early days of the Roman republic. Randius Taylorus Maximus was a soldier in the Roman phalanx. That bored him to death. All the clumsy formations, all the cumbersome gear, all the losing ... so he deserted and joined up with the Spartans. That's where he stopped "working" for a living, and got to do what he loved. He got to oil up and go into battle half-naked, with nothing but his shield, his sword and his loincloth. Years

'Honey, I'm Rome!'

"No, we will not be starting with a safety brief today."

Soldier armed with a pen.

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

"This is a test. This is only a test. IF this had been the real world it'd be your job you'd be fighting for, not a letter of the alphabet."

"I wish we were just called T-Rex..."

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

Mod Kwan Doh

"Hey, would you mind taking a quick sculpture of me and my family?"

A barbarian warrior eats his breakfast

"Ain't isn't a word, and you know it."

'Coleridge'

"Why... are there so many people who never eat pork? Because we have some excellent PR people working on our behalf."

"Do you think the world really is going to hell, or are we just getting old?"

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

Minister Starts at a New Church

Knights' Status Report: Rusted out, Metal fatigue, Popped rivets, Bad welds, Squeaky hinges, Dents and dings.

Guitar Hero.

'You've had a bad day? Try being stuck in this house!'

"You guys need to #@%!% fight harder. You're all #@%!% wimps! You call yourselves a #@%!% army? Bull%#!*!"

'Instead of a black belt, some of our older students, like Mr. Mertz here, prefer the black suspenders.'

Science vs. Literature, an Eternal Battle.

"He may be Sven the Slayer to you, but to me he's still Mr Cuddly Bun!"

Jurassic Country Club.

'Actually, I find the destroying more satisfying than the nation-building.'

"Ok, boy, one more time, then I'd better get this thing back to the battlefield."

"Yeah, well it hurts when you stab me with your words."

"Yee yee hee hee how how yip yip."

'All I'm saying is that if we don't want to be invaded, we'd be better off with weapons of mass destruction.'

Cockfight of words

Axes 'R' Us Store

Woe Befall the Linguistic Interloper

"Maybe we should stop making them on a hill."