Ancient Tales With A Twist Gifts

'Can you just send the digital copy?'

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

Knights of the bedside table.

Only then, did Medusa realise her mistake.

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

"Noah, what do you think are the most dangerous animals you've brought abroad the ark?"

'Yes, they've been fact-checked!'

The Tennis Racket in the Stone

'... And as soon as it's discovered, don't play with fire!'

'If straw and sticks don't appeal, I do have something in brick that might interest you.'

Egyptian Library: 'Every week you take out the same book, Anubis.'

'Maybe you should see an attorney if it was over somebody's head you broke the tablets.'

"That's not what I said."

"When we get to the promised land I never want to even see a piece of mann again for as long as I live."

'Want a good read Sex, violence, incest, murder Old Testament.'

The Dungeon

Achilles often feared that his weakness would be discovered.

ATM Inside

Alice Through the Looking Glass - Alice and the Red Queen.

And Moses climbed the mountain, day and night, searching for some sort of sign from god when suddenly he saw it!

'Ok. But explain to be again why I can't call it 'sex'.'

"Jekyll, old man - I think you've made my wife's drink a bit too strong."

'Okay, but don't try to operate it until I invent insurance.'

Why don't we wait until we know each other better before I tell you how I got the name 'Humpty'.

Argonauts and football

"It was a time when men regularly performed great feats of valor but were rarely in touch with their feelings."

'The middle east eh! See somebody's wife has been turned into a pillar of salt, the Hittites are at it again, a load of slaves have escaped fro Egypt by parting the sea, and some lot have destroyed the walls of Jericho with trumpets, when will ever end?'

Achilles needs first aid.