Ancient Tales With A Twist Gifts

'Can you just send the digital copy?'

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

Knights of the bedside table.

',,,And we'd really like a heart for the Tin Man,,,'

Only then, did Medusa realise her mistake.

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

My, grandma, what a big premium you have for a plan that doesn't cover getting eaten by a wolf.

"Noah, what do you think are the most dangerous animals you've brought abroad the ark?"

The Tennis Racket in the Stone

'Yes, they've been fact-checked!'

Every time I get a postcard from your brother, I regret that I carved him out of driftwood.

"Are you sure you need to make a large print version available?"

'If straw and sticks don't appeal, I do have something in brick that might interest you.'

'... And as soon as it's discovered, don't play with fire!'

'Maybe you should see an attorney if it was over somebody's head you broke the tablets.'

Egyptian Library: 'Every week you take out the same book, Anubis.'

"That's not what I said."

"When we get to the promised land I never want to even see a piece of mann again for as long as I live."

The Dungeon

'Want a good read Sex, violence, incest, murder Old Testament.'

Achilles often feared that his weakness would be discovered.

ATM Inside

Alice Through the Looking Glass - Alice and the Red Queen.

And Moses climbed the mountain, day and night, searching for some sort of sign from god when suddenly he saw it!

Why don't we wait until we know each other better before I tell you how I got the name 'Humpty'.

'Ok. But explain to be again why I can't call it 'sex'.'

King Midas: The Golden Years

"Jekyll, old man - I think you've made my wife's drink a bit too strong."

Argonauts and football

'Okay, but don't try to operate it until I invent insurance.'

"It was a time when men regularly performed great feats of valor but were rarely in touch with their feelings."

'The middle east eh! See somebody's wife has been turned into a pillar of salt, the Hittites are at it again, a load of slaves have escaped fro Egypt by parting the sea, and some lot have destroyed the walls of Jericho with trumpets, when will ever end?'