Ancient Ruins Explorer Gifts

Rome

"Hmm...well...It'll look better when it's finished...!"

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

Physician tending a mummy.

Tourists in Egypt

Zeus's Caddy

"I couldn't care less if being Homo Sapiens is the latest trend. While you're living in our cave, you better act like a true Neanderthal."

You had me at vintage.

"I'm having my entrails read."

"Life after death"

"Oooh. . . I've got sand under my wrappings and it's so itchy. . !!"

Pyramid Handicap Parking

"Wow! That's some PowerPoint presentation."

Souvenirs.

Mummy Beggar

"Sadie, I just heard they discovered lots of ancient cities buried hundreds of years ago in the jungles of Cambodia. They've each got weird geometric patterns outlining what may have been gardens. But no one really knows what they were used for. I guess what I'm asking you is... what were they used for? Y'know, since you were there to see them in their prime. They were used for ritual sacrifices of dullards. For educational purposes, I shall now perform one."

"I spy with my little eye..." "The ocean! It's always the ocean!"

Pompeii restoration project.

'Forget it lads. We've been refused planning permission for this one!'

"You're right! It is a mezuzah!"

"This is amazing! Roughly translated, it says 'King Tut was here o.k.'"

"Tut's outdone himself this time."

"Archaeologists discovered several enormous ancient cities buried under the jungles of Cambodia. That means the Khmer civilization was the largest empire on Earth from the 9th to the 12th centuries. That changes everything about our conception of the Middle Ages. What was your conception of the Middle Ages? Well... it was... well, knights, maidens, dragons... mostly dragons. And elves."

"He's an intelligence gatherer."

Painted into a corner.

Egypt 1896. Dr Howard Prendergast and Percy Smythe discover the tomb of King Ahktuman the Practical Joker, proving conclusively that the ancient Egyptians were the first culture to use whoopee cushion.

Euripides

Mummy Tourists

"Sorry, this is in Hebrew, and I only read Hieroglyphics!"

Archimedes statue tipped up by a lever.

"It's called monotheism, but it looks like downsizing to me."

"Have you noticed how climate change looks and feels the same as colonialism?"

1880 Presidential Election - Columbia Consoles General Hancock after Election Defeat

Pythagaros. Ancient Greece. Interesting, in ancient Greece they didn't have negative numbers. They sure do now!

'I'm the one who sold King Tut his tomb. The commission was huge.'