Ancient History Explorer Gifts

Afghanistan: A History of Conquest

Archimedes statue tipped up by a lever.

"Hey! I can see my house from here!"

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

'Well, there's something you don't see every day'

Ancient Racing

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

Physician tending a mummy.

'Don't ask me why but he feels a great deal of pride in calling it his 'man-cave'.'

'It's an extinction notice.'

Tourists in Egypt

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

'The dreaded Anachronisaurus strikes again!'

"I couldn't care less if being Homo Sapiens is the latest trend. While you're living in our cave, you better act like a true Neanderthal."

Zeus's Caddy

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

The Gladiator.

'When do they learn to stand upright?'

"Life after death"

Do you ever wish you lived in a different era, Randy? It's safer to keep me where I am. Injecting my advanced virility into more primitive eras could have disastrous effects on the timeline. Well

"Oooh. . . I've got sand under my wrappings and it's so itchy. . !!"

"I'm having my entrails read."

Pyramid Handicap Parking

"Wow! That's some PowerPoint presentation."

Souvenirs.

"I spy with my little eye..." "The ocean! It's always the ocean!"

Pompeii restoration project.

Mummy Beggar

"Sadie, I just heard they discovered lots of ancient cities buried hundreds of years ago in the jungles of Cambodia. They've each got weird geometric patterns outlining what may have been gardens. But no one really knows what they were used for. I guess what I'm asking you is... what were they used for? Y'know, since you were there to see them in their prime. They were used for ritual sacrifices of dullards. For educational purposes, I shall now perform one."

'Forget it lads. We've been refused planning permission for this one!'

'Let me get this straight: you'll answer three questions, but only three questions? No kidding? Boy, is this my lucky day or what?'

Peace in shackles.

"This is amazing! Roughly translated, it says 'King Tut was here o.k.'"

"Sorry, this is in Hebrew, and I only read Hieroglyphics!"

"He's an intelligence gatherer."