Ancient Ruins Explorer Pillows

Rome

"Hmm...well...It'll look better when it's finished...!"

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

Physician tending a mummy.

Tourists in Egypt

"I couldn't care less if being Homo Sapiens is the latest trend. While you're living in our cave, you better act like a true Neanderthal."

You had me at vintage.

Zeus's Caddy

"Life after death"

"Oooh. . . I've got sand under my wrappings and it's so itchy. . !!"

"I'm having my entrails read."

Pyramid Handicap Parking

Souvenirs.

Mummy Beggar

Pompeii restoration project.

"I spy with my little eye..." "The ocean! It's always the ocean!"

"Sadie, I just heard they discovered lots of ancient cities buried hundreds of years ago in the jungles of Cambodia. They've each got weird geometric patterns outlining what may have been gardens. But no one really knows what they were used for. I guess what I'm asking you is... what were they used for? Y'know, since you were there to see them in their prime. They were used for ritual sacrifices of dullards. For educational purposes, I shall now perform one."

'Forget it lads. We've been refused planning permission for this one!'

"You're right! It is a mezuzah!"

"This is amazing! Roughly translated, it says 'King Tut was here o.k.'"

"He's an intelligence gatherer."

Archimedes statue tipped up by a lever.

Painted into a corner.

Euripides

"Tut's outdone himself this time."

Mummy Tourists

Egypt 1896. Dr Howard Prendergast and Percy Smythe discover the tomb of King Ahktuman the Practical Joker, proving conclusively that the ancient Egyptians were the first culture to use whoopee cushion.

"Sorry, this is in Hebrew, and I only read Hieroglyphics!"

"Archaeologists discovered several enormous ancient cities buried under the jungles of Cambodia. That means the Khmer civilization was the largest empire on Earth from the 9th to the 12th centuries. That changes everything about our conception of the Middle Ages. What was your conception of the Middle Ages? Well... it was... well, knights, maidens, dragons... mostly dragons. And elves."

"It's called monotheism, but it looks like downsizing to me."

"Have you noticed how climate change looks and feels the same as colonialism?"

1880 Presidential Election - Columbia Consoles General Hancock after Election Defeat

'I'm the one who sold King Tut his tomb. The commission was huge.'

"I crawl that I may savor the richness and diversity of people and places along the way."