Ancient Law Enthusiast Gifts

"This is the earliest precedent we could find."

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

"Have you been playing dice?"

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

'The dreaded Anachronisaurus strikes again!'

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

Sphinx Comes Alive

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

Violent Crime Statistics

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

Just our luck...old school crime translation classes!

Lady Justice.

'Remember - do not try to plant the seeds from these apples. They're intellectual property, and they're copyrighted.'

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

"It's called 'Pizza maker scratching his knee.'"

"It's a long-term strategy to make them lazy and complacent first."

It Looks Like Trumpty Dumpty Got His Wall After All.

"No flash in the ancient mummy gallery."

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

'Hello. My father is an attorney. This is how I allegedly spent my summer vacation.'

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'