Ancient Law Aficionado Gifts

"You're sure you're not Hammurabi?"

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"Have you been playing dice?"

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

'The dreaded Anachronisaurus strikes again!'

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

Sphinx Comes Alive

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

Violent Crime Statistics

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

Lady Justice.

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

Just our luck...old school crime translation classes!

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'Remember - do not try to plant the seeds from these apples. They're intellectual property, and they're copyrighted.'

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

"It's called 'Pizza maker scratching his knee.'"

"It's a long-term strategy to make them lazy and complacent first."

"Don't forget the screenplay."

"Haven't you ever heard of the first amendment?"

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

It Looks Like Trumpty Dumpty Got His Wall After All.