Ancient Advice Enthusiasts Gifts

It's an advice column. Eat your vegetables. Get to bed early. Dress warmly. Be prompt. Drink plenty of liquids.

Archimedes statue with a lever

Ten Commandments

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

'These sure rule out a lot of options....'

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

Down With Wikipedia

"No flash in the ancient mummy gallery."

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!" "I want to go back to work." "But my son is still so young. I'd have to send him to preschool or day care. And then most of my salary would go to pay for that. So what should I do?" "You should do what we did in my day: Have six more kids and then let them all fend for themselves!" "If your eldest isn't a strong leader, it may get a little 'Lord of the Flies'-ish, but that builds character!" "...in the survivors."

'Of course, this social contract will have to remain hypothical until someone invents writing.'

PHARMACY, 'Tell Hippocrates to write his prescriptions in Greek -- I can't read Babylonian!'

'He was a Stoic's Stoic.'

The Unknown Philosopher, who first realised life is no picnic.

Orpheus and Eurydice

'That's a bad omen no sooner does he invent the wheel than he has the first ever road traffic accident.'

Mass Confucian

Hypatia

"Is this going to be on the midterm?"

Mummies for Dummies

"Hunters turned philosophers"

Greek Mathematics. Archimedes. Euclid. Pythagoras. The ancient Greeks didn't have a symbol for zero? The left "nothing" to the imagination.

Galileo vs Aristotle

Why don't we invite Hypothesis? It's always a good idea to have an educated guest… Party List. Mesomides. Loxias. Anaximenes. Thales.

'Socrates, you've been drinking again.'

Stoics vs. Epicureans.

Socrates

Homer

'Just think of me as your life coach.'

"NOW you call on the Vastu consultant?"

John Wycliffe

"The unexamined life is not worth living." Socrates. Sounds like a man who never had a tax return audited.

"You know, after all these years of giving you advice on all. Things personal and professional, it occurred to me that you've never actually asked for my opinion."

Reincarnation section of a bookstore

Arkhimed/Archimedes

"Do you want to add something about not trying to time the market?"