Ancestry Pillows

GENEALOGY - FAMILY TREE RESEARCH, 'Whoa! -- John Wilkes Booth AND Benedict Arnold?'

'I traced your genealogy. Better have a seat.'

'Scientists at the Human Genome Project have located a gene that makes us want to constantly look for our name on search engines.'

The dna double helix, with a human family taking the place of the dna rungs.

'It's a coat of arms, not a logo.'

"Good news, Mr. Vanderfirth. We've traced your lineage back to a woman who lived in East Africa two hundred thousand years ago."

The cost is determined by how far back you want us to search.

Dysfunctional Family Tree.

"And this entire section is the obit of a very thorough genealogist."

'We've found your tree but your family are still living in it!'

'I've just discovered that one of my ancestors was a Security Goose for the Roman Army...'

Some breeds are ancestry friendly...

"Have I ever showed you our family tree?"

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

'That is a coincidence - I am half Scottish!'

"Don't bother wasting your money on DNA testing. The results all come back, 'Ape.'"

"I'm sure you'll find this exciting, we've traced your lineage back to an African tribe in the serengeti!"

St. Patrick discovers his roots.

"Just your resume. We're not interested in the DNA testing."

GENEALOGY - FAMILY TREE RESEARCH, 'Whoa! -- John Wilkes Booth AND Benedict Arnold?'

'We've traced you back to the cartoonist who drew you.'

"As if we didn't already know too much about ourselves, we're having our DNA done."

'Grandpa, tell us again about you and Great-Grandpa William.'

'I went online to check out my ancestry and I found that my dad, 10,000 times removed, was an amoeba!'

After spending months researching his family tree, Mr Henshaw could think of little else.

'I just wanted to hear about him - I didn't want to see him!'

It's my family in the larger sense.

Calling yourself O'possum doesn't make you Irish, Bob.

DNA Tests. Discover your ancestry. That was great! I love taking a science test where it's not possible to give a wrong answer.

Incestry.com

"Hi everyone, thanks for channeling in to help me with my ancestry project."

"Your DNA test came back – you're 49% from the Amazon, 49% from the Caribbean, and 2% from some plastics plant in Texas."

"The test results indicate you're the descendant of a parade float."

Roots for the '90s

"My goodness, I had no idea people from California had ancestors!"