Genealogy Pillows

'I'm only interested in locating wealthy relatives.'

Jimmy, Sixth-Generation Pain in the Ass.

"Mum, please, tell me I take after your side the family."

'I'm trying to prove we're not related to the kids.'

'Neo-extended family'

"Frankly I'm a bit confused. According to the genetic printout this gentleman is in fact, a goat."

'Dad, have you ever thought about researching our family tree?'

'According to this genealogy website, I'm 60,765228th in line to the throne!'

'I warned you, Oedipus, not everybody likes what they find when tracing their family tree.'

"Paying for a DNA test will be worth it if I find better relatives."

"Ma didn't want to leave out anyone."

When you said you were going to find your ancestors I thought you meant on the INTERNET!

"I got my DNA analysis back. Guess what - I'm a Hapsburg."

GENEALOGY - FAMILY TREE RESEARCH, 'Whoa! -- John Wilkes Booth AND Benedict Arnold?'

Geneology Service: 'I'm afraid you fall into our 'better off not knowing' category....'

30% Heredity, 70% Environment

Rodneys family tree was a lot shorter than most.

'We haven't had much luck finding your ancestors. But we did manage to trace that suit you're wearing all the way back to the early 80's.'

"Hey, look, grampa was a flip phone!"

"We don't need to go that far into your background."

'I traced your genealogy. Better have a seat.'

'Scientists at the Human Genome Project have located a gene that makes us want to constantly look for our name on search engines.'

"Let's see now...genealogy books...genealogy books..."

"Good news, Mr. Vanderfirth. We've traced your lineage back to a woman who lived in East Africa two hundred thousand years ago."

'How's the gene-splicing going? Cloned any new hepatitis antibodies?'

'It's a coat of arms, not a logo.'

Man at desk researching through papers.

They couldn't tell me anything about my genetic father.. Apart from the fact that he'd been a frequent donor!

'I started a family tree too, but I gave it up fairly quickly: Way too many relatives...'

"Actually, Tommy, we're just about full-blooded management, except for your grandfather on your mom's side, who was one-quarter labor."

"I've forgotten what I want to be remembered for."

Welsh airport arrivals.

Billy listened spell-bound as his grandfather told him magical tales about the adventures of his ancestors.

When you said you were going to track down your ancestors I thought you meant on the INTERNET.

Family Money - "I've been working on your family tree!"