Genealogist Pillows

'I'm only interested in locating wealthy relatives.'

'I'm trying to prove we're not related to the kids.'

'Dad, have you ever thought about researching our family tree?'

'Nuts, nuts, nothing but nuts!' When Squirrels Search Their Family Trees.

"I got my DNA analysis back. Guess what - I'm a Hapsburg."

GENEALOGY - FAMILY TREE RESEARCH, 'Whoa! -- John Wilkes Booth AND Benedict Arnold?'

Geneology Service: 'I'm afraid you fall into our 'better off not knowing' category....'

"We don't need to go that far into your background."

'Scientists at the Human Genome Project have located a gene that makes us want to constantly look for our name on search engines.'

'We haven't had much luck finding your ancestors. But we did manage to trace that suit you're wearing all the way back to the early 80's.'

"Let's see now...genealogy books...genealogy books..."

"Good news, Mr. Vanderfirth. We've traced your lineage back to a woman who lived in East Africa two hundred thousand years ago."

'It's a coat of arms, not a logo.'

Man at desk researching through papers.

"Albert Morris? But I've spent the last six months researching Alberta Morris?!"

Genealogists, let us trace you family tree - "We've managed to trace your ancestors back to your Dave."

'I started a family tree too, but I gave it up fairly quickly: Way too many relatives...'

'I did our branch of the family tree. Turns out we're birch and northern pine.'

'I'm tracing my relatives.'

'I'm related to royalty.'

Ancestry tracing service agency using a time machine.

"So being flakey is obviously something I've inherited."

The Genealogist

'Testing, testing, once upon a time, testing...'

'I'm sorry, but we only do people.'

"You remind me of someone. Oh, yeah, him"

'I'll grant your next wish as soon as I finish researching my Genie-Ology.'

'He's a genius in genetics, but he can't fold a genome map.'

Dysfunctional Family Tree.

Family DNA

'Find the rotter wot nicked our Christmas tree!'

'I've traced out family tree back to some lizards in the Mesozoic era.'

"First, I want you to cut way back on the Ancestry.com."

"Can DNA testing really prove that George Washington was the 'Father if our Country'?"

"Remember, I warned you against tracing your family tree."