Ancestral Research Pillows

Realistic Ancestry Chart

'The big feet come from your side of the family.'

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

'I'm tracing my relatives.'

'I've just discovered that one of my ancestors was a Security Goose for the Roman Army...'

'Dad, have you ever thought about researching our family tree?'

The dna double helix, with a human family taking the place of the dna rungs.

"OK, now you've gone back too far."

"Hi everyone, thanks for channeling in to help me with my ancestry project."

"Everyone here is alive because I got laid."

'I went online to check out my ancestry and I found that my dad, 10,000 times removed, was an amoeba!'

'Scientists at the Human Genome Project have located a gene that makes us want to constantly look for our name on search engines.'

"Good news, Mr. Vanderfirth. We've traced your lineage back to a woman who lived in East Africa two hundred thousand years ago."

'It's a coat of arms, not a logo.'

'You rejected my great grandfather and my father. I demand you recuse yourself!'

After spending months researching his family tree, Mr Henshaw could think of little else.

"Your DNA test came back – you're 49% from the Amazon, 49% from the Caribbean, and 2% from some plastics plant in Texas."

"As if we didn't already know too much about ourselves, we're having our DNA done."

'Grandpa, tell us again about you and Great-Grandpa William.'

'Any gunslingers in your family? You're certainly 'Quick on the draw'.'

Sir Rupert Murgatroyd

"Just your resume. We're not interested in the DNA testing."

"Don't bother wasting your money on DNA testing. The results all come back, 'Ape.'"

"This is your great-great-great-great grandfather Felipe. If he was alive, he'd be a very famous man."

Dysfunctional Family Tree.

GENEALOGY - FAMILY TREE RESEARCH, 'Whoa! -- John Wilkes Booth AND Benedict Arnold?'

"Our new employee Thomson's great-great-grandfather was Russian, his great-grandmother Greek,his great-grandfather German and his mother Spanish."

"The test results indicate you're the descendant of a parade float."

"Not one of the Dartford Warblers?"

'We've traced you back to the cartoonist who drew you.'

'Do you get your good looks from your mother or your father?'

"Ooh, Dave. Your DNA results have come back! According to this, you're 10% German, 15% Irish, and 75% layabout."