Ancestral Research Gifts

Realistic Ancestry Chart

'The big feet come from your side of the family.'

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

'I'm tracing my relatives.'

'I've just discovered that one of my ancestors was a Security Goose for the Roman Army...'

'Dad, have you ever thought about researching our family tree?'

The dna double helix, with a human family taking the place of the dna rungs.

"OK, now you've gone back too far."

'I went online to check out my ancestry and I found that my dad, 10,000 times removed, was an amoeba!'

"Hi everyone, thanks for channeling in to help me with my ancestry project."

"Everyone here is alive because I got laid."

'Scientists at the Human Genome Project have located a gene that makes us want to constantly look for our name on search engines.'

'It's a coat of arms, not a logo.'

"Good news, Mr. Vanderfirth. We've traced your lineage back to a woman who lived in East Africa two hundred thousand years ago."

'You rejected my great grandfather and my father. I demand you recuse yourself!'

'Grandpa, tell us again about you and Great-Grandpa William.'

After spending months researching his family tree, Mr Henshaw could think of little else.

'Any gunslingers in your family? You're certainly 'Quick on the draw'.'

"Your DNA test came back – you're 49% from the Amazon, 49% from the Caribbean, and 2% from some plastics plant in Texas."

"As if we didn't already know too much about ourselves, we're having our DNA done."

"This is your great-great-great-great grandfather Felipe. If he was alive, he'd be a very famous man."

"Don't bother wasting your money on DNA testing. The results all come back, 'Ape.'"

"Just your resume. We're not interested in the DNA testing."

Sir Rupert Murgatroyd

Have you even thought of having children, Randy? Of course. I come from a long line of perfect specimens. Each successive generation is more charming, more virile, more irresistible than the last. HOJ. Logic dictates that I am not the end result, I am but a link in the evolutionary chain of Randies. I must reproduce eventually, for the sake of all mankind. How about you? I come from a long line of corporate overlords, each greedier than the last ...

'Aren't you a little worried all that begatting will get out of hand?'

'I did our branch of the family tree. Turns out we're birch and northern pine.'

7 Reasons You Might Be Irish. . .

Dysfunctional Family Tree.

'We've traced you back to the cartoonist who drew you.'

GENEALOGY - FAMILY TREE RESEARCH, 'Whoa! -- John Wilkes Booth AND Benedict Arnold?'

"Our new employee Thomson's great-great-grandfather was Russian, his great-grandmother Greek,his great-grandfather German and his mother Spanish."

"Ooh, Dave. Your DNA results have come back! According to this, you're 10% German, 15% Irish, and 75% layabout."

'Do you get your good looks from your mother or your father?'

"Not one of the Dartford Warblers?"