Genetic Ancestry Exploration Gifts

'Do you get your good looks from your mother or your father?'

'I've just discovered that one of my ancestors was a Security Goose for the Roman Army...'

'The big feet come from your side of the family.'

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

"Your old Jewish mother with some pickled herring, sir. To remind you of your roots,"

'I've just discovered that one of my ancestors was a Security Goose for the Roman Army...'

When you said you were going to find your ancestors I thought you meant on the INTERNET!

The dna double helix, with a human family taking the place of the dna rungs.

"Hi everyone, thanks for channeling in to help me with my ancestry project."

Man: 'My family tree is infested with termites.'

"Everyone here is alive because I got laid."

'I went online to check out my ancestry and I found that my dad, 10,000 times removed, was an amoeba!'

'Scientists at the Human Genome Project have located a gene that makes us want to constantly look for our name on search engines.'

'It's a coat of arms, not a logo.'

"Good news, Mr. Vanderfirth. We've traced your lineage back to a woman who lived in East Africa two hundred thousand years ago."

After spending months researching his family tree, Mr Henshaw could think of little else.

Genealogy Service. Family Trees Traced. I discovered that not only are you heir to an unclaimed family fortune, but I'm your long lost brother Wally!

"Your DNA test came back – you're 49% from the Amazon, 49% from the Caribbean, and 2% from some plastics plant in Texas."

'You rejected my great grandfather and my father. I demand you recuse yourself!'

'Grandpa, tell us again about you and Great-Grandpa William.'

"As if we didn't already know too much about ourselves, we're having our DNA done."

'I've traced out family tree back to some lizards in the Mesozoic era.'

Have you even thought of having children, Randy? Of course. I come from a long line of perfect specimens. Each successive generation is more charming, more virile, more irresistible than the last. HOJ. Logic dictates that I am not the end result, I am but a link in the evolutionary chain of Randies. I must reproduce eventually, for the sake of all mankind. How about you? I come from a long line of corporate overlords, each greedier than the last ...

" ...and this is the armor of my ancestor, 'Cederick the Unintimidating.'"

"Don't bother wasting your money on DNA testing. The results all come back, 'Ape.'"

She's got your eyes.

"Just your resume. We're not interested in the DNA testing."

"This is your great-great-great-great grandfather Felipe. If he was alive, he'd be a very famous man."

7 Reasons You Might Be Irish. . .

"I think my grandmother might have married him and brought him home after the war, since then he's just been sat by the fire..."

The children at their cousin's grave

Dysfunctional Family Tree.

"Our new employee Thomson's great-great-grandfather was Russian, his great-grandmother Greek,his great-grandfather German and his mother Spanish."

GENEALOGY - FAMILY TREE RESEARCH, 'Whoa! -- John Wilkes Booth AND Benedict Arnold?'

"The test results indicate you're the descendant of a parade float."