Ancestor Researcher Gifts

"Your great abuelo Pepe started a business and made a million dollars...but he had a gambling problem and died broke."

"This is your great, great grandfather 'One Gun Salazar'."

'I demand a DNA test.'

'I've just discovered that one of my ancestors was a Security Goose for the Roman Army...'

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

'I never saw a tracer bullet that I didn't admire for color, clarity and swiftness.'

"Your old Jewish mother with some pickled herring, sir. To remind you of your roots,"

'I'm tracing my relatives.'

'Dad, have you ever thought about researching our family tree?'

When you said you were going to find your ancestors I thought you meant on the INTERNET!

"OK, now you've gone back too far."

"Hi everyone, thanks for channeling in to help me with my ancestry project."

"Mum, just curious: when you did the family tree, did you research all the way back to our ancestors on Noah's ark?"

'I went online to check out my ancestry and I found that my dad, 10,000 times removed, was an amoeba!'

"It belonged to my great... great creepy Uncle Edgar."

Man: 'My family tree is infested with termites.'

"Pop, what part of ‘rest in peace’ don’t you understand?!"

"Good news, Mr. Vanderfirth. We've traced your lineage back to a woman who lived in East Africa two hundred thousand years ago."

'You rejected my great grandfather and my father. I demand you recuse yourself!'

After spending months researching his family tree, Mr Henshaw could think of little else.

'Any gunslingers in your family? You're certainly 'Quick on the draw'.'

Dave's most treasured possession was the picture he had of his great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather.

"Albert Morris? But I've spent the last six months researching Alberta Morris?!"

'I've traced out family tree back to some lizards in the Mesozoic era.'

"Just your resume. We're not interested in the DNA testing."

Boris Johnson related to Mummy

'Last year Frank tried tracing back his roots but came back empty!'

"This is your great-great-great-great grandfather Felipe. If he was alive, he'd be a very famous man."

"Don't bother wasting your money on DNA testing. The results all come back, 'Ape.'"

Sir Rupert Murgatroyd

"I traced my family tree. This is it."

"Let's see now...genealogy books...genealogy books..."

'I started a family tree too, but I gave it up fairly quickly: Way too many relatives...'

Dysfunctional Family Tree.