Anatomy Humor Aficionado Gifts

"What can I say? God made me this way!"

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

Happy Birthday to you.

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

'That was creepy. They ran short on cadavers, so we operated on the dean of students.'

'The doctor says he's going to have to give you a few more tests...'

'We'll need to run some preliminary tests to see if you're healthy enough for more invasive follow-up tests.'

'Time for your pills.'

"Gross."

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

Operating Room Humor. Why are anesthesiologists assumed to be honest? Because numb-ers don't lie!

"She keeps getting a stitch in her side."

'Long shift?'

"Tut tut. You're only having a baby, if you had my flu last week you'd know what real pain was."

'Could you be more specific than you feel zucky?'

Doctor receiving advice from patient's mother

'Veins...arteries...I told you I can never tell one from another.'

Why you shouldn't date an anesthesiologist.

"Turn your head and cough."

'Take two and call me from the Emergency room.'

'You can tell your grandkids, you rode the most expensive vehicle on Earth!'

"No, your tonsils are fine. It's all the rest of you that's knackered!"

"It appears your anus transplant has rejected you..."

"Darn it, lost another swab."

"That's enough about the noggin and the schnoz. Let's move on to the tummy-wummy and the keister."

'I think we should cut back on the tranquilizers.'

Mobile Operations Stand.

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

'You don't need a colonoscopy, but I'm sending you for one because, quite frankly, I don't like you.'

'Is there a chance you will die under the anaesthetic? Well, that is the killer question.'