American Gothic Fan Gifts

Get Your Shot

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

Dracula in a Vampire Hospital getting some extra blood from a Human blood drip

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

Frankenstein working at a hot dog stand.

"Quoth the raven, 'Nevermore.'"

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

"Nevermore." "You don't have to use 'air quoths' every time."

"Where’s your sense of Gothic romance?"

"So besides opera and lurking, what do you do to relax?"

Nevermore. You don't have to use "air quoths" every time.

Giant Monster in Bath

Trilby - Finis

'A vampire bat! No kidding!'

Orientation: Welcome to Hell

"What do you mean you're tired of AB negative?"

The Raven in Flight

"What'd you think the zipper on my face was for?"

Trilby - 'Oh my poor girl! my poor girl!'

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

Cosmetic Stone Mason.

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

First Transsylvanian Blood Bank

Trilby - 'Ca fera une fameuse crapule de moins'

One of Dracula's 'coffin mournings'.

'Oh great, these guys again! The big guy can't fit inside the MRI scanner, sheet boy falls right through it, and The Count's images never develop...'

Vampire Umbrella

Trilby - 'Taffy was allowed to see Gecko'.

The Pride of Frankenstein

'I've checked his appointments. The only opening is for 'nevermore'.'

Frank N. Stein - Evirnomentalist.

'At last, dusk...and my e-mails!'

Trilby - 'Oh don't you remember sweet Alice, Ben Bolt?'

"Graveyards always put me ill at ease."

Drunk Vampire