American Frontier Fan Gifts

“Hold on—wait until those people are out of the way.”

Cowboy legend # 37: Jack Valance.

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

"Go away, he's not done playing Cowboys and Indians yet."

NYer uploaded by mod - "Come look, hon! We just got a new cactus!"

'Have you been waiting long?'

Artists of the wild west.

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

A kid squirting gunk from an umbrella.

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

Build a home where the buffalo roam? Bah!

"Oh, I almost forgot: This time, if you have a good hand, don’t say, 'Meowee!'"

'Wow! Look everyone, Tarquin's lassooed a snake!'

"I have to get something off my chest—I don't know the words to the second verse of 'The Star-Spangled Banner.'"

Dniel Boone makes an involuntary fashion statement.

"I'm thinking of changing my name."

Reality Wagon Train

"I'm sleeping in today. I got in late from last night's orgy."

Lesser Known Historical Figures: The Steno at the First Thanksgiving Dinner.

"Lost his first hat about nine months ago. Really tore him up too."

"It just don't feel right, drinking him like that."

1839: Rare photograph of wagons on the 'Organ Trail.'

I'm Ok, You're Ok Corral

Not at all O.K. Corral

'Oh darn........I forgot The Alamo!'

Jake played with a dead man's hand

House Hunters of the Old West

'Look, Charlie, it's a bonanza!'

Two cowboys fight using remote control cowboys

"Him? Nah, he ain't dead! That's my spare sidekick in case you go flat!"

'You seem to be suffering from frontier mentality...'

"Boss, d'ya think that this one Saguaro is enough to stop the uma stage."

'According to your resume you're an experienced ranch hand...I knew I should have checked your references!'

"Do we have any candy?"

"As I recall from the last session, you were born in Tennessee and raised in the woods, so you knew every tree. Then something happened when you were only three. What was that?"