American Frontier Fan Gifts

“Hold on—wait until those people are out of the way.”

Cowboy legend # 37: Jack Valance.

"Go away, he's not done playing Cowboys and Indians yet."

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

NYer uploaded by mod - "Come look, hon! We just got a new cactus!"

'Have you been waiting long?'

Artists of the wild west.

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

A kid squirting gunk from an umbrella.

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

Build a home where the buffalo roam? Bah!

"Oh, I almost forgot: This time, if you have a good hand, don’t say, 'Meowee!'"

'Wow! Look everyone, Tarquin's lassooed a snake!'

"I have to get something off my chest—I don't know the words to the second verse of 'The Star-Spangled Banner.'"

Reality Wagon Train

Lesser Known Historical Figures: The Steno at the First Thanksgiving Dinner.

"I'm thinking of changing my name."

"It just don't feel right, drinking him like that."

"I'm sleeping in today. I got in late from last night's orgy."

"Lost his first hat about nine months ago. Really tore him up too."

Dniel Boone makes an involuntary fashion statement.

1839: Rare photograph of wagons on the 'Organ Trail.'

House Hunters of the Old West

'Look, Charlie, it's a bonanza!'

'According to your resume you're an experienced ranch hand...I knew I should have checked your references!'

"As I recall from the last session, you were born in Tennessee and raised in the woods, so you knew every tree. Then something happened when you were only three. What was that?"

Two cowboys fight using remote control cowboys

Jake played with a dead man's hand

'You seem to be suffering from frontier mentality...'

'Oh darn........I forgot The Alamo!'

"Boss, d'ya think that this one Saguaro is enough to stop the uma stage."

Not at all O.K. Corral

"Do we have any candy?"

'Davy Crockett's divorce.'

Where Washington's chicken crossed the road to get to the other side.