Amateur Vocalist Pillows

"The only thing that can save it now is a really bad glee club!!"

'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'

"Those are the lyrics? How embarrassing—I've been singing it wrong this whole time."

"Darling, I never realised how talented you weren't!"

"If there is no more American Idol what am I going to do to become famous?"

"Still life with fruit and terribly drawn fish"

Ventriloquism For Beginners.

Young lady telling a young man he is not singing low enough.

'Fortunes, Impressions, Hunches, Wild Guesses'

Shouting

'People say I don't listen to other's opinions. That's not true, is it Binky?'

"Keep it up Kevin, you're really improving."

'He always takes Charades very seriously.'

"It might be a better trick if you didn't use see-through glass"

"He sings for charity. He has to. Nobody offers to pay him."

"That' was great - let's run though that again."

Spring Cleaning

"'I sent this to you through the mail to say I hope your day is swell.' What's wrong with that?"

"Dad! I didn't know you were a boxer!"

"I got the blues in the mornin', I got the blues at night..."

Singing is everyone's shower rights.

"The technique is good, but somehow I feel that the artist didn't take enough time observing the subject."

Open Mic Night

'I have nothing against you being helium. It's your voice, Steven. Your squeaky, high voice!'

An Adam's Melon

'No, you being from overseas wouldn't stop me going on a date with you...Whoa!! But that would! Quite a high voice for a guy.'

He's got a lousy voice!

"Ever since he got those goggles ..."

'Oh, you WERE singing?... Sorry, I thought you were clearing your throat.'

'I've always wanted to be a politician, but I speak in a low voice.'

Chat Lines - "If you would like to talk to a machine that sounds like a woman press 1. If you would like.."