Amateur Performers Pillows

'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

"I'm watching the dog cheat at solitaire."

"Those are the lyrics? How embarrassing—I've been singing it wrong this whole time."

"Darling, I never realised how talented you weren't!"

'Quit clowning about, Fred.'

"If there is no more American Idol what am I going to do to become famous?"

"He can never take anything serious. Everything's a joke."

"If I wanted your opinion I would have hauled you in for questioning."

'If God had wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them closer to my hands!'

"Still life with fruit and terribly drawn fish"

"Ahhh! Ha-ha! Exactly what I said when I was pulled over. Dipstick!"

"Well they are fake ducks, Honey, but not quite decoyish enough."

Ventriloquism For Beginners.

Young lady telling a young man he is not singing low enough.

"Repeat after me... We are vegan... We are vegan..."

Canoeing Incorrectly

'People say I don't listen to other's opinions. That's not true, is it Binky?'

"It might be a better trick if you didn't use see-through glass"

'He always takes Charades very seriously.'

"A little high and inside."

'You can't come in to play unless you wear cushions on your feet - My Dad's got a headache!'

"He sings for charity. He has to. Nobody offers to pay him."

"Maybe you just can't tell a joke."

"That' was great - let's run though that again."

Spring Cleaning

"Good morning, world!"

'Could you take me through it once more? From the moment you said you couldn't pay the witch doctor's fee.'

"The only thing that can save it now is a really bad glee club!!"