Amateur Actor Pillows

'He always takes Charades very seriously.'

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Joan Hickson

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'

"Darling, I never realised how talented you weren't!"

"I got the part, but I play a waiter."

"If there is no more American Idol what am I going to do to become famous?"

"He can never take anything serious. Everything's a joke."

"If I wanted your opinion I would have hauled you in for questioning."

'If God had wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them closer to my hands!'

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

'Therapy in L.A.'

Ventriloquism For Beginners.

"Still life with fruit and terribly drawn fish"

"Ahhh! Ha-ha! Exactly what I said when I was pulled over. Dipstick!"

'I've written a poem describing my feelings on discovering the body, Inspector...'

Ham-Dram

Young lady telling a young man he is not singing low enough.

"Well they are fake ducks, Honey, but not quite decoyish enough."

'I'm going to ask you one more time; who left a hot mug on this table?'

"That's not the stick, it's a blood-stained satchel full of money... but hey, good boy!"

Optician and the PI.

'The actors guild suspended my membership.'

"I'm getting dangerously close to figuring out what I did last night."

"Repeat after me... We are vegan... We are vegan..."

Man having picture of caught fish sees that cat has eaten it.

Jacqueline Bisset caricature

'Hold on, the play is under review.'