Amateur Actor Pillows

'He always takes Charades very seriously.'

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Joan Hickson

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'

Newark by Night. A new Dutch restaurant just opened. What do you know about Dutch cuisine? Nothing. But I'm a big fan of the "Dutch Treat" concept.

"I got the part, but I play a waiter."

"Darling, I never realised how talented you weren't!"

"If there is no more American Idol what am I going to do to become famous?"

"He can never take anything serious. Everything's a joke."

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

'If God had wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them closer to my hands!'

"If I wanted your opinion I would have hauled you in for questioning."

'Therapy in L.A.'

"Ahhh! Ha-ha! Exactly what I said when I was pulled over. Dipstick!"

Ham-Dram

Young lady telling a young man he is not singing low enough.

'I've written a poem describing my feelings on discovering the body, Inspector...'

"Still life with fruit and terribly drawn fish"

Ventriloquism For Beginners.

'I'm going to ask you one more time; who left a hot mug on this table?'

Melanie Griffith

Optician and the PI.

"That's not the stick, it's a blood-stained satchel full of money... but hey, good boy!"

"Well they are fake ducks, Honey, but not quite decoyish enough."

'The actors guild suspended my membership.'

"Repeat after me... We are vegan... We are vegan..."

"I'm getting dangerously close to figuring out what I did last night."

Man having picture of caught fish sees that cat has eaten it.

Morgan Freeman