Amateur Performer Appreciator Pillows

"It might be a better trick if you didn't use see-through glass"

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

"How do I know this isn't a performance art piece?"

'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'

Mark Knopfler.

1,572 Performances.

"Donner and Blitzen are just our stage names."

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

"Darling, I never realised how talented you weren't!"

I Pagliacci

People chasing a street performer to give money.

She did only twenty-eight of the thirty-two fouetts in the Black Swan pas de deux . . . or are my eyes deceiving me?

"So. Are you a mime, a puppeteer, or a ventriloquist?"

'He can toot his own horn but when he starts tooting the government's we need to step in.'

"Those who can can, dance."

Young lady telling a young man he is not singing low enough.

Eggs portrayed in different art media.

"I got replaced by another clown"

Rock and roll singer with old mike and three backing singers.

James Levine

The clown loses it at the circus and takes the 'fat lady' hostage with a cream pie 'I'm not clowning this time, back-off or the fat-lady gets it!'

Midway through the show, a seamless switch, from air guitar this Celtic air fiddle.

Spinning violinist

Roadie

Oscar Victory

"I see you like to let your actions do the talking."

'Pop the whip. Make me roll over. Smile more. The act started going downhill when I began listening to you.'

Flamenco

I am a bass/baritone/tenor.

WHEREVER THERE IS REAL DANGER THE ATOMIC MIME LEAPS INTO PRETEND ACTION

Dame Sybil Thorndike

"I don't get you. You can soft shoe, play the ukulele and juggle, but you can't fetch a pair of slippers."

"He sings for charity. He has to. Nobody offers to pay him."

"Do I have a cough, a harumph, a wink, a tic? Sold then to the smirk for a million-five."

'I'm just a struggling actor. Your insurance policy doesn't cover a real doctor.'