Amateur Musicians Pillows

"That' was great - let's run though that again."

"The instructions for the beer-making kit you gave me? Didn't need them -- I figured it out for myself. Drink up."

"Hurry up, I'm hungry."

'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'

"Darling, I never realised how talented you weren't!"

When Tia Carmen says... "A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner" it means "I can fix it with a hammer."

"Those are the lyrics? How embarrassing—I've been singing it wrong this whole time."

"If you dress in a costume that they can't figure out, they feel guilty and give you more candy."

"If there is no more American Idol what am I going to do to become famous?"

"You've been in long enough! Two more dives then out!"

"Still life with fruit and terribly drawn fish"

Young lady telling a young man he is not singing low enough.

Gracie tries to invent a shrinking spray and squirts Baldo with it.

An association for the advancement of science on an excursion.

Man having picture of caught fish sees that cat has eaten it.

"Keep it up Kevin, you're really improving."

'I'll put one end of the hose in your pool...you take the other end outside...gravity will create a siphon and drain the water with no mess.'

"He sings for charity. He has to. Nobody offers to pay him."

Spring Cleaning

"I got the blues in the mornin', I got the blues at night..."

"All this just to take a selfy!"

"Do these feet make me look fat?"

'Billy, how many times have I told you to get your thumb out of your mouth? Betty, for heaven's sake, brush your hair out of your eyes.' 'An annoying auto-focus camera.'

'That wasn't the home movie. That was the trailer.'

"The only thing that can save it now is a really bad glee club!!"

Evolution Selfie

A minister forgetfully slipping into his other role as a photographer

Workaholic and alcoholic

"The technique is good, but somehow I feel that the artist didn't take enough time observing the subject."

"A new study reveals this is ACTUALLY what you've been chasing."

"No more for me, thanks - I have to denigrate his driving."