Amateur Dj Gifts

Cake Mix

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

Cut out and keep your own DJ.

"Hurry up, I'm hungry."

Newark by Night. A new Dutch restaurant just opened. What do you know about Dutch cuisine? Nothing. But I'm a big fan of the "Dutch Treat" concept.

"The instructions for the beer-making kit you gave me? Didn't need them -- I figured it out for myself. Drink up."

'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'

Presenter Auditions.

"Darling, I never realised how talented you weren't!"

"If there is no more American Idol what am I going to do to become famous?"

"He can never take anything serious. Everything's a joke."

"If I wanted your opinion I would have hauled you in for questioning."

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

"Still life with fruit and terribly drawn fish"

"Well they are fake ducks, Honey, but not quite decoyish enough."

Young lady telling a young man he is not singing low enough.

'I've written a poem describing my feelings on discovering the body, Inspector...'

Optician and the PI.

'I'm going to ask you one more time; who left a hot mug on this table?'

"That's not the stick, it's a blood-stained satchel full of money... but hey, good boy!"

"Ahhh! Ha-ha! Exactly what I said when I was pulled over. Dipstick!"

"I'm Walter Grimes and I approve this drink."

"Repeat after me... We are vegan... We are vegan..."

"I'm getting dangerously close to figuring out what I did last night."

Man having picture of caught fish sees that cat has eaten it.

'Hold on, the play is under review.'

'People say I don't listen to other's opinions. That's not true, is it Binky?'

Canoeing Incorrectly

'Nice try buddy, but we know the score. You were involved, but you only played a small part. What we want to know is who orchestrated this thing.'

'Okay, this is the scene where the bear becomes a parachute.'

"Maybe you just can't tell a joke."