Always Online Gifts

"Could you please focus on the objective of this meeting, Tom... you can get back to your 300 followers later."

Moses on the web

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

"OMG, LOL!"

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

Online Dating

"Looks like Brandon got caught with his hand in the password jar."

'You know, you can do this all online now.'

Technology and Love

'Well look, here come the hackers!'

"Hack back with all you've got!"

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

"We've updated our privacy policy...it's so private we can't even tell you."

'I don't care if he is the most interesting man in the world, his tweets about what he had for breakfast are still boring.'

Zoom Wedding

"Some fine day, my son, all this will be yours."

'I don't care what your chat group says. I say you're becoming overly dependent on technological gadgetry.'

'In keeping with the company's policy on after-hours availability, he'll be buried with his phone.'

'No wifi?. . .No 3G, either?!. . .Lousy tropical paradise!'

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

'The best way to protect your privacy is through a flood of misinformation obscuring the truth.'

"Word is that since we increased your case load, you've been living at the office."

21st Century Malaise-Attention-Seeking-Disorder

"He just sits there, trying to think of the tweet to end all tweets."

We met online.

"Still no offers - sometimes I think I'm the only one using this site."

"Didn't anyone ever warn you about opening an e-mail from someone you don't know?"