Always Online Gifts

"Could you please focus on the objective of this meeting, Tom... you can get back to your 300 followers later."

Moses on the web

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

"OMG, LOL!"

'There's no art to the mind's construction on Facebook, Macbeth.'

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

Addicted to Facebook...lost internet connection.

Online Dating

"That? It's where I keep all my passwords."

"Looks like Brandon got caught with his hand in the password jar."

'You know, you can do this all online now.'

Man from refuse department says: 'We'll send you a new wheelie bin, Mrs Trubshaw, there's really no need to 'orchestrate a mass Twitter campaign'.'

Technology and Love

'Well look, here come the hackers!'

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

"We do have on item the internet hasn't already beaten into the ground, ad nauseam."

"Hack back with all you've got!"

"We've updated our privacy policy...it's so private we can't even tell you."

'How do I get people to visit my...'

"Some fine day, my son, all this will be yours."

'I don't care if he is the most interesting man in the world, his tweets about what he had for breakfast are still boring.'

'I got caught in a blogstorm.'

Zoom Wedding

'I don't care what your chat group says. I say you're becoming overly dependent on technological gadgetry.'

'In keeping with the company's policy on after-hours availability, he'll be buried with his phone.'

"Word is that since we increased your case load, you've been living at the office."

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

'The best way to protect your privacy is through a flood of misinformation obscuring the truth.'

'No wifi?. . .No 3G, either?!. . .Lousy tropical paradise!'

"Have you considered vlogging?"

I see. And why do you think you often feel lonely?

21st Century Malaise-Attention-Seeking-Disorder

"He just sits there, trying to think of the tweet to end all tweets."

"Still no offers - sometimes I think I'm the only one using this site."

We met online.