Always-on-call Gifts

'In keeping with the company's policy on after-hours availability, he'll be buried with his phone.'

"Could you please focus on the objective of this meeting, Tom... you can get back to your 300 followers later."

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

Jocko, a man for all sports' seasons.

365 Lemonade Stand

"Word is that since we increased your case load, you've been living at the office."

'No wifi?. . .No 3G, either?!. . .Lousy tropical paradise!'

"How nice of you to call me out of the blue, young man. It so happens I have forty-five million just sitting in my piggy bank, and maybe having a broker wouldn't be such a bad idea."

'Oh, it's about what I expected...I'm on hold for eternity to some tech rep in India.'

"Yes, I'm still on hold and counting the billable minutes."

Garden City Restaurant: 'Workaholics businessmen's lunch - 24 hours every day.'

'Sorry I'm late. I had you booked as the gastroenteritis, on Mont Blanc.'

"It's so nice to be home, mum, and have unrestricted use of the telephone again"

"The boring bit about cricket is waiting for them to find the ball after you've hit a six."

'Boy! Those 911 operators sure get snooty when you call at 4 a.m. and ask them to translate the words to Frere Jacques.'

"Even our job has its own small mercies."

Oh, don't worry, Haskins, your job is secure. You're smart enough, hard working and you don't have a life.

At 100 years old, Ceil pretty much spoke her mind...

Actual excerpt from a 911 tape.

"Henry's always on call!"

'Thank you for phoning our vineyard. . .'

"When I said don't ring me at home, that didn't mean you could ring me at the office..."

'Doctor on beck and call'

"Please stay on the line, your call is very important to us... Yeah, right. Like you're going to believe that."

Please hold while precious moments of your life tick away

A man in sunglasses

How did you know to ring me on the mobile here?