24/7 Worker Gifts

Garden City Restaurant: 'Workaholics businessmen's lunch - 24 hours every day.'

Working hours.

'Stop saying 'how high?' until I say 'jump'.'

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'I'd give you a raise, but I had to throw tantrums to make my parents give me anything as a kid.'

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

Now may not be a good time,he just found out he's not going to live forever.

Off Duty.

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

Around here it got a little tricky...

'Kudos to Bill for the cotton candy machine idea!'

'Jones, I don't like you because it's so hard to find something to blame you for!'

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

"The boss expects us all to be robots."

'Look, I said I'd bring you the report on micromanaging. Just give me a chance.'

"I'm not asking for a raise. All I'm asking for is a little warmth and human understanding."

'Only another thirty-four years, five months and fourteen days until I retire.'

'A word in my office Jones.'

"He's in a meeting, but you have 25 seconds to leave a video message."

'He always has your back - - - but it's mostly to step on.'

The boss is truly a courageous risk-taker. Only he tasted the salmon mousse at last year's company picnic.

Boss and worker communicating in exclaimation marks.

'I can assure you we take privacy concerns very seriously. Now, on your way out, shut the bloody door.'

Are you nodding yes, or nodding off?

Hirer to employee handing him lighted hat: 'You'll be starting at the bottom.'

"Why don't you try learning from your own mistakes?"

"Take this mission statement and rewrite it so that it sounds like we care about our customers."

'Drop dead. Well that's good start to our negotiations.'

'Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, feel sorry for the people who have to work with you.'

"I've road a few bulls myself, partner

"Welcome to the United States."

Tired - Stressed - Tired.

'And when I snap my fingers you'll be happy with what I pay you.'

"Think nothing of it, Llewellyn. In every large organisation there are leeks."