Alternative Holiday Humor Lover Pillows

"J'ai un alibi pour la nuit du 24 au 25 décembre."

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

Gracie goes to get cookies for Santa, but Papi has eaten them all.

Claus 2.0

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

Night of the Latkes

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

High security Santa's grotto

Elfie Stick

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

Mighty Man Of Justice Goes Christmas Shopping Part 1

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

That one has all the batteries!

"Ninja bread men"

Hiding the electronics.

Van Gogh was starting to run out of gift ideas.

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

"I don't think the turkey's going to be done on time. That's the dishwasher."

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

Try me/try me/try me...

"How about if we just winter in hell?"

Non-Denominational Carols

Mrs Claus - North Pole Dancing.

Fish snorkling above water.

'Now it fits.'

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'