Alternative Birthing Methods Gifts

"...We said a natural birth, not a naturist birth!"

Cry babies.

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

Push Push Push: sign on maternity ward doors.

'Grandma, does the hospital charge by the pound when people have babies?'

Baby Hairstyles.

"That is one absorbent nappy."

"I said, was... it... a... difficult... birth?"

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

"Since he was born today he won't begin daycare until tomorrow."

"On no, the baby's breach!!"

"Here's our little bundle of joy."

Maternity Ward

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

"I think it's time we learned to stand up for our selves."

"Why, Mr. Larsen! We were about ready to give up on you."

'Fellas, I have a bit of an emergency! My wife is in labor! Mind if we play through?'

"Which one is yours?"

"Underwater Childbirth Ward."

"After the whole history of human evolution, you'd have thought a bigger birth canal would have developed!"

Open other end

"Which one's yours?"

Uterus: One size fits all.

"I wouldn’t say they’re user-friendly."

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

Clown Delivering Babies.

In the club.

"Dear Mum. As contractions begin I thank you for letting me share your uterus. When do I get my bond money back??"

'One can see the baby's crown!'

'Here's one I made earlier!'