Allotment Ace Gifts

Homegrown solutions for a smaller carbon footprint.

"There it is Derek,....our nemesis!"

Prize vegetables.

Allotment

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

An old man growing berries

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

So those are your 'weapons of mass destruction? - Slugs?

"Let's say an immediate $10.00 allowance increase plus an annual 8% cost of living raise and I'll call him off."

'Not here, Fred.'

"What are you growing?"

'I grow all our tomatoes. I grow all our spinach. All you do is complain about the cost of my twice weekly manicures.'

'Apart from Charlie here, I don't have any problems with slugs'

Sheds

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."

"Why don't other people ever do this?"

He was forced to take early retirement.

Middle Distance Runners

"My son's a commonwealth - I give him money to be independent."

Hell's Allotment Holders.

Sign on shed reads 'Gone to seed.'

'Ferguson always was an overachiever.'

Man halfway through growing a scarecrow

"My biggest problem is squatters."

'I refuse to get a job as long as my allowance is higher than minimum wage.'

'You can always recognise a true gardener - out there before the weather actually gets nice enough for venturing into the garden.'

'I'm done with school because all I need to make a living is to know how to persuade my dad to give me money!'

"Those are my money managers."

"Still trying to grow mushy peas,Alf?"

Dad, can you give me my pocket money?"

Gardening Angel.

'Even with free medical, dental, room and board, I'm still not making it on this allowance.'

Birds laughing at a scarecrow.

"Oops...nothing but IOUs I never paid back!"