Allotment Keeping Gifts

Middle Distance Runners

'You can always recognise a true gardener - out there before the weather actually gets nice enough for venturing into the garden.'

Hell's Allotment Holders.

Prize vegetables.

Allotment

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

An old man growing berries

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

Homegrown solutions for a smaller carbon footprint.

"We've decided to diversify our funds on some candy!"

"Can you check inside it for me, Mister?"

"Let's say an immediate $10.00 allowance increase plus an annual 8% cost of living raise and I'll call him off."

So those are your 'weapons of mass destruction? - Slugs?

'Not here, Fred.'

"What are you growing?"

'I grow all our tomatoes. I grow all our spinach. All you do is complain about the cost of my twice weekly manicures.'

'Apart from Charlie here, I don't have any problems with slugs'

Sheds

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."

"Why don't other people ever do this?"

'Yes, Bob, Allan's wife did let him buy tickets to the big game, but then Allan didn't spend all his allowance on nachos and beer, now, did he?'

He was forced to take early retirement.

'Please help - can't afford sweets - spent pocket money on mobile phone credit.'

I took up antkeeping.

Sign on shed reads 'Gone to seed.'

Man halfway through growing a scarecrow

"My biggest problem is squatters."

"Those are my money managers."

"Still trying to grow mushy peas,Alf?"

Gardening Angel.

Birds laughing at a scarecrow.

"Oops...nothing but IOUs I never paid back!"

Go figure, thought Ralph. $10 for a live hamster, and $150 for a dead one.

'Oh no! I'm losing the plot.'

"If you're going to the bank, would you bring me something?"