Allotment Lover Gifts

An old man growing berries

Prize vegetables.

Allotment

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

"I thought we'd eat out on the patio for a change."

"If I've got to work for a tyrant . . . I may as well work for myself."

Homegrown solutions for a smaller carbon footprint.

So those are your 'weapons of mass destruction? - Slugs?

'Long term I like energy and transportation stocks. Short term I like lottery tickets.'

"What are you growing?"

'Apart from Charlie here, I don't have any problems with slugs'

'I grow all our tomatoes. I grow all our spinach. All you do is complain about the cost of my twice weekly manicures.'

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."

Sheds

'Is my allowance a form of income redistribution?'

"Why don't other people ever do this?"

I brake for anything discarded that I can bring to the antiques roadshow.

He was forced to take early retirement.

Middle Distance Runners

Hell's Allotment Holders.

Bob auctions off his thoughts.

Sign on shed reads 'Gone to seed.'

'You can always recognise a true gardener - out there before the weather actually gets nice enough for venturing into the garden.'

Man halfway through growing a scarecrow

When Tia Carmen says... "Every misfortune you have carries in it the seed of tomorrow's good luck!" it means... "I didn't win the lottery last week, but this week that jackpot's mine!"

"Pack your bags, Maureen! I've got the lottery up love!"

"My biggest problem is squatters."

'This should be good. He just won the lottery!'

"Still trying to grow mushy peas,Alf?"

And now lot 36, the Picasso. Only one owner, a little old lady...

Birds laughing at a scarecrow.

"No one knew for sure who won the lotto jackpot. . . but Jimmy indicated that his fiscal situation had improved."

"I can't wait until I'm old enough to vote for a guaranteed minimum allowance."

Gardening Angel.