Alien Buff Pillows

"Aaaaugh! There's a leek in the ship!"

"Reason For Visit: 'world domination' - can you enlarge on that please?"

"Thank you earthlings, without your space junk we would be nothing."

"Under our health care plan, you get low premiums, a low deductible and a free, yearly probe."

"Houston, we have a problem."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

How am I abducting?

"Oh boy charades! I love charades! Something big? Is it a bird? It's sharp! Behind? Above?"

"Me? How about you go closer and read the plaque!"

"Not now, Oliver."

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

Aliens with abducted person look at a suggestion box.

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

Get on with it!

'I hate having to go outside for a cigarette!'

'Well, somebody on this stupid little planet ordered an extra-large with pepperoni and mushrooms!'

"Frank, I want you to try antidepressants."

Protoplasm

'Don't tell me you've got another moon rock in your shoe!'

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

Hysterically laughing monster.

Elephants are finding it increasingly difficult to find unspoiled places.

"You never know what will catch on!"

Glimpses One Dollar

Asteroid Bennu

'I hear that earthlings have finished their space shuttle program. I hope they don't make it here. It would destroy proprty values.'

Mars Rover

"I'm sorry. How did I know what he would do to your cat if I let him play with it?"

"Earth, you'll need our standard Roswell cover"

The first birthday gift.

'It won't be long now - I'm in my 18th month.'

Person welcomes alien to Earth, and is consequently zapped.

"Phil, you've done a terrific job of reinventing yourself...but we see here you're still just patent pending."

'Look Zork, those damn kids are 'Earthing' us!'