Alcoholism Awareness Gifts

'And the property is in the catchment area for good local Alcoholics Anonymous groups.'

Portrait of 'Our founder' at Alcoholics Anonymous is a drunk.

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

'C'mon! Speed it up! I've got a bottle of wine here that says it's meant to be drunk soon!'

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

'I drank 10 pints of rum.'

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

Wine Talking

'Here's an interesting article. 'Cold or Seasonal Allergy?''

"How adorable! I'd love to have one of my own but I'm so terribly allergic."

'I'm getting a head start for Movember.'

The Angel's Share

'Says here, a disgruntled employee brought a gun into the liquor distillery today...to the gills!'

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

"They took my pellets, man, I been hitting' that lever al day, they took my PELLETS!"

Fallen Angel.

'It's got worse than just the occasional sploosh from a wine box, hasn't it?'

Liquor Store - Gift Suggestions.

'This is never a good sign when you ask the wine steward for the vintage.'

'I'd like to get in touch with my feminine side, Joe -- bring me a Bloody Mary.'

Champagne Tasting.

Sewer Rats

"We had no sherry so I left him some of your dad's home brew instead."

'Then I add the juice of one bottle of brandy.'

Drinking Conversion Chart

"If I were a dog I'd only be 11."