Alcohol Awareness Supporter Gifts

'Aw, give me one for the road...who's it going to hurt?'

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

Man practising karate is tempted by a glass of beer.

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

'C'mon! Speed it up! I've got a bottle of wine here that says it's meant to be drunk soon!'

'I drank 10 pints of rum.'

Wine Talking

"... ad that's when I got into the harder stuff, biscotti."

"Smoking or nonsmoking?"

'Says here, a disgruntled employee brought a gun into the liquor distillery today...to the gills!'

'Remind me: are we on our way to the pub or coming home from the pub?'

"Just think of all the cigarettes I could have smoked."

'I don't know which health issue should concern me more - the voices in my head or the fact that I need a hearing aid to hear them.'

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

The Angel's Share

"They took my pellets, man, I been hitting' that lever al day, they took my PELLETS!"

'It's got worse than just the occasional sploosh from a wine box, hasn't it?'

Fallen Angel.

'I'd like to get in touch with my feminine side, Joe -- bring me a Bloody Mary.'

Liquor Store - Gift Suggestions.

'This is never a good sign when you ask the wine steward for the vintage.'

'Oi! '

"We had no sherry so I left him some of your dad's home brew instead."

Champagne Tasting.

"Drinking? Who's drinking? I'm antioxidizing."

Caveman chiselling a disabled wheel symbol from stone.

The Three Passive/Aggressive, Co-Enabling, Chemically-Dependent Billy Goats Gruff

Drinking Conversion Chart

'Fair play, Bill always knows when he's had enough.'

'Then I add the juice of one bottle of brandy.'

Breathe-aholics Anonymous: 'Hi, my name is Glen, and I've been clean and sober for over one minute.'