Alcohol Addiction Awareness Gifts

'Travel club for alcoholics.'

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

Man practising karate is tempted by a glass of beer.

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

'C'mon! Speed it up! I've got a bottle of wine here that says it's meant to be drunk soon!'

'I drank 10 pints of rum.'

Wine Talking

"... ad that's when I got into the harder stuff, biscotti."

'Says here, a disgruntled employee brought a gun into the liquor distillery today...to the gills!'

"Just think of all the cigarettes I could have smoked."

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

The Angel's Share

"They took my pellets, man, I been hitting' that lever al day, they took my PELLETS!"

'It's got worse than just the occasional sploosh from a wine box, hasn't it?'

'I'd like to get in touch with my feminine side, Joe -- bring me a Bloody Mary.'

Fallen Angel.

"We had no sherry so I left him some of your dad's home brew instead."

Champagne Tasting.

Liquor Store - Gift Suggestions.

'This is never a good sign when you ask the wine steward for the vintage.'

"Drinking? Who's drinking? I'm antioxidizing."

The Three Passive/Aggressive, Co-Enabling, Chemically-Dependent Billy Goats Gruff

A man tries to avoid going over the waterfall of alcohol dependence.

'Fair play, Bill always knows when he's had enough.'

Drinking Conversion Chart

'Then I add the juice of one bottle of brandy.'

'I hope you can reform his addiction to computers!'

"We need to break your addiction to prescription drugs. Let's see if this prescription helps."

Breathe-aholics Anonymous: 'Hi, my name is Glen, and I've been clean and sober for over one minute.'

"Tell me about your problem drinking."

"I'm making an effort to limit my dependence on foreign vodka.