Alcohol Addiction Awareness T-Shirts

'Travel club for alcoholics.'

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

'C'mon! Speed it up! I've got a bottle of wine here that says it's meant to be drunk soon!'

Wine Talking

'I drank 10 pints of rum.'

The Angel's Share

'Says here, a disgruntled employee brought a gun into the liquor distillery today...to the gills!'

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

"They took my pellets, man, I been hitting' that lever al day, they took my PELLETS!"

Champagne Tasting.

Fallen Angel.

'This is never a good sign when you ask the wine steward for the vintage.'

Liquor Store - Gift Suggestions.

"We had no sherry so I left him some of your dad's home brew instead."

'It's got worse than just the occasional sploosh from a wine box, hasn't it?'

'I'd like to get in touch with my feminine side, Joe -- bring me a Bloody Mary.'

'Then I add the juice of one bottle of brandy.'

The Three Passive/Aggressive, Co-Enabling, Chemically-Dependent Billy Goats Gruff

A man tries to avoid going over the waterfall of alcohol dependence.

'I hope you can reform his addiction to computers!'

Drinking Conversion Chart

Breathe-aholics Anonymous: 'Hi, my name is Glen, and I've been clean and sober for over one minute.'

"Tell me about your problem drinking."

"I'm making an effort to limit my dependence on foreign vodka.

"The champagne aisle always makes me cry. Just look at all this imprisoned happiness!"