Alcohol Humor Collector Pillows

pickled onions...

Occu-Pie Mars

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

'Bert's dog training.'

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

Banana Split...

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

E-Baying @ The Moon

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

Vegetarian Birds

"Eat me"

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

"The Eggsorcist"

A 'Falling Rock' and a 'Deer Crossing' zone.

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

Cake Free Zone

Snowmobull

Turtle Hat

Filet minion

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

'I've just discovered that one of my ancestors was a Security Goose for the Roman Army...'

Man falls in water Title: 'Willis was always an overachiever.'