Adult Humor Collector Pillows

Cupid's arrow deflates a sex doll

"Sorry. I'm out of leprecondoms."

Hollywood Sign Developers

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Bert's dog training.'

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

"Eat me"

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

Cake Free Zone

A 'Falling Rock' and a 'Deer Crossing' zone.

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

Man falls in water Title: 'Willis was always an overachiever.'

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

Easter Island Shades...

"Fantastic! Do you realize what we've just stumbled upon? It's the fabled Lost Glove Compartment of the Ancient Astronauts!"

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

'I've just discovered that one of my ancestors was a Security Goose for the Roman Army...'

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

A watch face with Stonehenge

The Tale of the Tape of the Tail.

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

Whatís that, boy? Youíre too tired for a walk and you just want to watch TV?

'Forget worms. Think fast food.'

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'