Adult Humor Aficionado Pillows

'What do you give a man who has everything?'

Bottleopener.

Blow up Doll

'I'd like to open a spank account.'

'Dammit, Sybil!! HE'S supposed to hide in the closet!!'

Stocking Filler

Man sees 'chatline' advert on television.

Boobs Eye Chart.

'He doesn't get the jokes - he just laughs at the F-words.'

Condoms,

Pornographic telephone directory

Adults Only Pantomime: Puss in Nothing.

Sex shop headache pills...

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Police Feline Unit

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

Cariactures

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

Do Not Resuscitate

Faster, Georges, faster!