Sex Humor Aficionado Pillows

'He just learned to count last week and last night he invented 69'

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

Police Feline Unit

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Zombie standup

Support the Ex-Troops

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

"What's a patent?"

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

Pretty Flowers

Torturing the English Language

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

Easter Island legs