Airport Security Analyst Gifts

The Muscle in Brussels

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

The Anti-Agent

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

UK border controls relaxed.

Olivia just hacked into the boy scouts' site and sold them 30,000 boxes of cookies.

Airport Security.

'Where was the TSA?'

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

'Now that everyone's street is online, we're mapping interiors.'

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

"On a positive note, he's not our boss. He's the guy who stole our boss's identity."

A Little Extra

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

Attack of the Underwear Bomber

"Good artists borrow, great artists steal."

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

'Wouldn't it be cheaper to apologise to the Middle East?'

"We occasionally remove content that is considered to be subversive, or a potential threat to public order and national security."

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

Bureau of Disappearing Civil Liberties.

Aggression/Security

The Best Defense

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

"Mr. Miranda....we are using 'schedule 7' to hold you on suspicion of knowing someone who knew someone who was a whistleblower...."

Workers are running out of one door labeled 'Reactive Business Intelligence,' while another worker in the next room sits calmly behind a door with a sign that reads, 'Proactive Business Intelligence.'

Computer Controlled Car

"I've entered your PIN for you. "

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

Man in hospital bed, along with ECG, mmHg, being monitored is also NSA.

The Santa Myth, 2015 edition

'The best part is being able to fly without taking off your shoes.'

'We're out of duct tape.'

Airport Security. Remove Shoes. What do they call the guy in charge of all this airport security? "The TSAR"!

Pet Drone