Aircraft Assembly Fitter Gifts

A day in the life of an aircraft assembly fitter...'

Employee of the Month Parking

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

'And don't be afraid to ask for directions.'

'Hello, Robinson Crusoe here, I'd like my kitchen finished by Friday.'

Going to Work. . .Coming Home

Jet Liner Wipes 'I tell ya, cleanin' the fuselage used to be my least favorite job...'

Mechanics, their forks ready, prepare to deice the chocolate off a plane.

Old fashioned aeroplane with propeller.

RAF plane ride.

Ferdinand von Zeppelin

"Be careful - we've seen an alarming increase in the number of plane strikes."

"Here we go....in-flight refueling."

"The air feels cleaner, for some reason."

'Fasten yourself to your seats please.'

'Lose another wrench to that black hole that sucks up all tools the instant you drop it?'

Multiple Migs

'Here's the problem,the pilot light went out.'

'I went to wash the wheels on that European Airbus A380 by myself. I didn't know it had 22 wheels.'

Penguins going for flying lessons

"Sorry, my mistake, I thought the dating agency said, 'a plain speaking man', 'bye."

Flat pack sales assistant

Bird comes in for a crash landing.

'There's really no need for confusion. Page 95, section 33, paragraph L clearly explains ...'

Crowded Air Travel

Stewardess advising passengers to fix aeroplane with duct tape if any problems.

"Stop scratching your head. I know you've got an itchy scalp, but the passengers get the wrong impression."

Things haven't been the same around the county since TWA merged with Ed's Crop Dusting Service.

"No one wants a drink, no one wants a snack...I don't know who I am anymore."

"If you're selling, I couldn't offer more than fifteen hundred for the machine. It looks like it's had a lot of miles on it."

Buying Airplanes (New or Used)

REFUEL - FULL SERVICE

Aviation Inspection and Maintenance. Ernie, coffee is not a quick fix for metal fatigue.

"Turn back. The K27 has been superseded by the bigger, faster and more heavily armed K28."

At the 'Northwest Institute of Aeronautical Engineering 2008 Graduation'.