Airbnb Humorist Gifts

"Broken chairs, unmade beds, porridge everywhere... and a one-star review. Worst Airbnb customer ever."

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

'He's not a pet. He's an endangered species.'

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

Camping holidays in the British summer.

"What other tricks does he need?"

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

Tidy it up for the open house, and it wouldn't hurt to put out some freshly regurgitated worms. For sale.

Yard Sale

Of course, the rent on the fourth floor is considerably higher.

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

Complaints at the Beehive Condo

It's from the homeowners association --- They want me to stop leaving my worries on the doorstep.

'Beware you don't trip over him!'

"Drinking improves my vodkabulary."

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

Mouse real estate!

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

'She let the bedbugs bite.'

'Of all the fern bars in Encino, she's gotta walk into mine.'

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

Bed Fellow

Carpet Cows

Mo's USA Bar: Tips/Tariffs

'Gravity wins - again.'

Oh, one door closes, another opens -- How have you been?

VARIOUS ITEMS OF LABELLED KITCHENWARE.

Need something from the fridge? This looks like a job for...Indoorman!

Swearing and fighting in a caravan

'I see the Maids have been in!'

'Are we broke yet?'

It looks like wood, but it's actually vinyl siding.