Rental Humorist Gifts

You boys still owe me the rent from last month.

Of course, the rent on the fourth floor is considerably higher.

I thought dogs weren't permitted here. He doesn't bark so he's okay --- the landlord said "No dogs aloud."

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

"Canadian Mt. ‘Rush’more"

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

"I was going to play the Moonlight Sonata, but I forgot the key."

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

"My biggest weakness? I'm a perfectionist."

Radiator jazz player

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

Orchestra Class Air Guitar.

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.

The Phantom Of The Garden

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

Guitar pickin'

Opera singer singing to her partner who is wearing a gas mask on due to her bad breath.

Impressive qualifications, but seeing as how I'm trying to fill the position I just fired you from...

Man in Therapist office sees a sign: Therapy Is Expensive Bubble Wrap Is Cheap You Decide

Pay me not to pay 'Wonderwall'

"Who is 'coming around the mountain,' John? Could it be your mother?"

Rap-scallions

Double Saxophone

"Beans, Them Beans, Them Beans, Beans, Beans..."

Edward Elgar.

Employment Agency. I didn't hire him -- Those bipedal guys are are afraid to get their hands dirty.

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

All Les's dreams of stardom were coming true, and he'd only played one note.

Dr. Phil takes it home.

No Instruments Please

'Never mind singing it in rap...a simple 'I do' will suffice.''

"Ding" "Dong"

"Y'know, sooner or later we're going to have to let her go out unaccompanied."

Now, Bach's Brandenburg Concerto.